It’s been almost 3 months since my last post.
Time is flying by. Seriously. Slow the eff down.
I don’t know how many of you work in hospitals that have a BSN residency program, so (before I get into anything else) I am going to explain the concept. Basically, I have to meet once a month with all of the other BSN nurses who were hired around the same time to bitch about our jobs. Crazy right? And, I even get paid to do it. It is seriously the biggest. joke. ever. But, whatevs. The true purpose is to support the transition from student to practitioner. So, sometime around our second or third seminar, we discussed the “new nurse blues.” Anyone else familiar with this term? We were told that sometime around the 6 month mark, most graduate nurses start to really reconsider their career choice. They start asking questions like, “Why did I want to do this?”, “Will it ever get any better?”, “When will I feel like I actually know what I’m doing?”, and “Was all that schooling really worth THIS?.” I thought this concept was crazy stupid. I mean, I LOVE nursing…right?!
Well, HA. HA. HA. Guess what? I’ve definitely got the “new nurse blues.” I’m hoping it’s just a combination of working night shift, eating nothing but crap, laziness, and stress. I’ve been reassured (several, several times) that this too shall pass and, once again, all will be right in my life. And, when that time comes, nursing will be the greatest thing ever. But right now, it sucks. Like, big time.
I think the worst part is working with resident MDs. In my short time as a RN, I have learned so much more than I ever could have imagined. And I continue to learn just as much every single day that I work! However, these residents…WOW. Sometimes, I really…really…really…wonder why I didn’t just become an effing doctor?! There is nothing worse than knowing exactly what your patient needs, but working with a resident who is 1) too afraid to make any decisions on his/her own, or 2) won’t give you what you need, just because they don’t want to admit you are right. UGH. It’s amazing that doctors come out of school with as little knowledge as they do. What do they spend all that time learning?! The amount of frustration sometimes seems unbearable. And on top of that?! I just have to grin and bear it. (Although, every now and then, I do enjoy aggravating the piss out of some of these MDs to get what I want. :D) Anyone who knows me personally, would tell you this is something VERY hard for me to accomplish. I dread going to work most days, and I hate that. I keep telling myself that it will get better. And I hang on to that hope with everything in me.
Is anyone else out there experiencing this right now? Or have you experienced this? I would really like to know that I’m not alone, and that people aren’t lying when they tell me it won’t last forever.
On a more positive note, I most definitely feel like I am getting the hang of things. As most of you know, the nature of my unit is pretty crazy. However, I still believe have the world’s best co-workers! I have yet to walk into an unknown experience alone. That is just the bee’s knees, if you ask me! The amount of support they provide to me and to each other is incredible. My unit kicks ass and takes names on the daily. Sometimes, that’s the only thing that gets me through.
I’ll stop here, before this post becomes a small novel. I hope you are well, internet. Let me know what’s up!
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